Waiting: As Real As It Gets

waiting-as-real-as-it-getsSummer’s sun drifted to sleep as we pulled into a gas station and discouragement beat with my heart again. Already four hours and some passed, we should be there already my expectations demanded. I eyed the scenery, vaguely recognizable from our previous road trip. Instinct assured me at least two more hours loomed ahead.

Coeur d’Alene, the final “city” behind us, my heart was captured by the growing beauty that surrounded us.

What are we- we really did WHAT?

This is as real as it gets.

Living out faith is exciting, but the moment focus is distracted from the Throne perspective quickly shifts. Satisfaction and determination quickly morph into anxiety and fear. Life requires a keen focus beyond our means.

Sacrilegious Faith

My heart was bankrupt and that’s okay. The measure of faith to sell houses, pack, move, leave depleted me. Music filled the car, the same music that played over the past nineteen hours. That music carried me across the finish line. Christ is enough for sanctification but we need more to live the Christian life. Jesus came to redeem sinners like you and me, He also came to build His church.

One of the final weeks at our church Citizen Way and performed. They led worship for our church service; a byproduct of their concert the night before. We purchased their two albums and rocked out on our drive. Familiar lyrics nurtured my heart and brought me back to truth time and again.

On My Side by Citizen Way

Fear is liar and the Devil’s a thief
He keeps creeping in whispering
You’re not man enough to make it
You’re not tough enough to take it
But I know the truth
I don’t have to be ‘cuz
My God is on my side
Why should I fear
Why should I hide
On the mountain
In the valley
His plans are good for me
This one thing I know
Whatever may come
Wherever I go
When I fall or
When I fly
My God is on my side

On my side on my side
I remember the shackles
I remember the weight
And the guilt in a heart
That only knew how to break
But like summer in December
I found freedom in surrender
Grace cut my chains
How could I not believe
No matter how the battle looks
It won’t end in defeat
The King of all the universe
Fights the war for me
He’s won the victory

The Christian Life Isn’t A Duo

Christ did not intend the Christian life to be a duo. We choose what we cultivate in our hearts by the influences we allow in our lives. Struggle is guaranteed and it is necessary to develop relationships that anchor our struggling hearts. Clearly this begins with regular communion with our loving Lord, but many forget it extends to growing relationships within the church community and guarding our hearts and minds by filtering the media we ingest.

God knew

My heart’s condition didn’t surprise God and He blessed me in the middle of my struggle. Texts from praying friends glowed on my phone, lyrics met me in my struggle and took me back to the foot of the cross and the majesty of creation that surrounded me the closer we got to home reminded me how mighty our God is. A heart that is willing in the smallest ways to manage the faintest, “help” receives exactly what it needs in perfect measure.

Don’t be afraid to admit skepticism, God already knows about it. Ask for help and be ready to receive.


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