Waiting for Enough

 

waiting-for-enough

We procrastinate anything displeasing until enough pressure forces completion. Reports for work, the dreaded errands with kids in tow, the difficult news to explain to a client, those are understandable. However, we wait equally as long for enough good to push us into action. The guy and girl interested in each other but afraid of rejection. The married couple who wait for enough money to start a family. Enough is a hefty motivator but when we shift our meaning of enough an entirely new life opens.

Our move date hinged on enough. Enough meant all the homes would close, that we’d move from one home into the next, but my enough wasn’t God’s.

Once appraisals and inspections concluded we rested in the lull. It appeared the worst was over and everything moved along fairly smoothly. Our properties were scheduled to close and that would be enough to trigger our physical move. So we thought.

Our property there hinged on the successful close of our rental. Scheduled to close a week before our primary residence the timing was perfect. When the first close date for our rental passed without closing I understood. It’s not completely abnormal for such thing to happen and the lender reassured us it would close in just a few days. The schedule shifted and we expected an avalanche of closings. All three properties would close within two days and then we’d move I attempted to reassure myself.

That week we said final goodbyes to our church family and friends but it didn’t seem final. Sometimes it’s like that.

Then the rental didn’t close and the weight of new responsibilities there became overwhelming. Two weeks to unpack, complete the necessary DMV changes, prepare for teaching a combination class…time was no longer on our side.

As much as we stack the odds in our favor or plan for success there’s more out of our control than we realize. It’s frightening how little control we truly have; most of us avoid thinking about that. We falsely reassure ourselves our positive attitude and determination will pave the way and overcome. Even “Good Christians” fall prey to this. Our faith move was still comfortable but God was shaking that up.

God wasn’t going to give us the enough we sought. He hedged us in circumstances that asked, “Do you trust I am enough?”

With our summer God required all of me to be poured out and instead of heading into the move with a full cup, I found myself empty. As I prepared mentally for going back to the traditional classroom after a nine-year break I knew it would require more than I had to offer. God had me right where I needed to be- empty and ready to be filled with His unfailing strength.

Our primary residence closed, but our rental did not. Therefore our home there could not. After postponing our move one week and then another we finally took a terrifying leap of faith and loaded the moving truck saying goodbyes once and for all. So we thought. We had no idea what the future held, but it we’d learn it wasn’t easy.

We’re not called to have the odds stacked in our favor; we’re called to faith. Not to say a 401K is sinful or planning unfaithful, we’re called to wisdom, but never at the cost of following faithfully.

Will you trust to go (physically, mentally and spiritually) where God is leading?

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2 responses to “Waiting for Enough

  1. Wow girl! You’ve had me on the edge of my seat daily!! So many similarities in your journey and mine right now. Your spiritual insights have amazed me with their maturity. Your ability to express our (my) condition is spot on. Keep it up!

    • Isn’t God good to us? You encourage me more than you realize! I’m not sure what God is doing through this process of moving and particularly writing through it (aside from being exhausting:) but I’m so compelled to write it that I am curious with God…is it because He knows this is how I’ll best process what He wants me to learn or is it for others as well…it’s not always pleasant to be vulnerable with the world. It’s really encouraging to know that the words that give voice to my soul are understood by someone:) Thanks for taking time to let me know!

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