Intentionally the phone rang once more. I took a deep breath said a quick prayer, clicked the green “accept” button and hoped expectations and reality would collide. Snippets of recent waiting rushed through my mind and calm courage anchored my core. I awaited this moment and I felt ready, but the realization that this single call could forever change the direction of life for my family equally sobered me.
A cheerful but steady voice greeted me. “Hi Julie, this is ___ the principal there. How are you doing today?” Nothing. His tone left nothing for me to read into. Kind, genuine and confident are a tough lot to read into, especially when blurred by desire.
Aging & Explaining
There’s a point where there are too many stories to tell, too much background and baggage to explain and life handled honestly. A perk of aging is accepting reality and speaking honestly. Nearing middle age, I gave it a whirl.
“I don’t know how I’m doing. How about you give me some news and then I’ll tell you how I’m doing!” is NOT what I said, though it did cross my mind before my mouth said the more diplomatic version.
“I’m disappointed. I know I have a lot to offer the students, school and community in general and I didn’t communicate well during my interview….” Yes, those dots allude to more words. Yes, I said much more and I felt relieved. Whatever the outcome I’d officially done everything within my power to earn the position.
“I know what you mean.”
Oh boy, this isn’t a good lead into. I fidgeted with something on our kitchen counter.
“Usually when I’ve had that feeling I actually did better than I realized.”
Did he intend to buddy and drop me with, “I know. I’ve felt like that before and didn’t get the job.” The suspense killed me.
“Usually I’ve been offered the job I was after.” The following sentence came slower than the sloth from Zootopia, “and that’s the case here. We’d like to offer you the two/three combination class.”
The Best Yes
The best yes doesn’t just happen; it’s distilled. A confident yes comes with thought, prodding and a bit of pain.
The tops of my list:
Asking Christ to forgive my sins and guide my life.
Changing my college major when it didn’t make sense.
Sticking with an abusive marriage until God provided a way out.
Marrying my husband despite other’s opinions.
Moving to Denver and back.
“Yes! I’d LOVE to teach there!”
Wide-eyed all the waiting provided time for my husband and I to prayerfully weigh the decision. When I said yes, I knew an immediate and unstoppable series of changes would begin.
Two-and-a-half months after we drove and prayed, “Show us where to go” I would teach again in the public school. Instead of screaming (oh wait, I did that) I called my husband and savored the quiet before the storm of buying, selling, remodeling, packing and moving our family seventeen hours away.