For the first time in over a year my husband and I were traveling alone and hopped on a plane to head there. The interview loomed but ten thousand feet in the air we celebrated a decade of love, dedication and perseverance to each other. That would again be tested in the days to come.
Be strong and courageous.
We’ve traveled broadly throughout the western United States, but as we neared there we realized it is unique. Our hearts swelled as the drive continued and the terrain grew in extraordinary beauty. God did more than tell us to go, He took us to our version of the Promised Land. However, God didn’t just hand the Promised Land over to the Israelites and we quickly found this move wouldn’t fall onto our laps.
The more we fell in love the more we had to lose.
Our immediate stop in town was to meet the first person I spoke with. Only weeks prior the personnel administrator’s warmth immediately won my heart. Her kindness, like that of a long-time friend, made my call to ask about appropriate interview attire comfortable. I wanted to thank her in person for her encouragement and in turn found a cache of incredible people!
She introduced us to other administrators and the district superintendent. Instantly friendly and inviting it felt like home. These were my people. For the first time I realized I really wanted to live there. The interview began to weigh on my heart.
We drove a short distance (without traffic) to the Main Street. I went into the handful of shops as my husband talked with real estate brokers he could work for. He came out of the final office smiling but shaking his head.
“They like me and think I’d be great but they don’t want to bring anyone else on.”
Will You Still Trust and Obey?
It’s easy to believe and follow when things are easy and everything to this point seemed to fall on our laps. The test of faith comes when expectations and reality collide.
My thoughts shifted from the Throne to our livelihood. We could scrape by on my teacher’s salary but that wasn’t how I wanted to live. The truth surfaced: Life was comfortable in California with our established and thriving real estate business and we needed to choose.
Dinner beside the river as the sun set was lost to palpable tension. (Our poor waiter!) “Maybe this isn’t the best idea. Maybe we should wait a couple of years,” my husband’s words seemed effortless and I grew indignant.
After all the work I’d done because he asked me to! All for nothing. Unfair, selfish, unfaithful…my pity party’s dance card was quickly filled with every “un” under the sun and ruptured for the world to see.
“So we should close this chapter and move on?” my attempt to mask disappointment, pain and doubt failed.
“Don’t let the sun go down while angry” humph. My heart failed and concluded the day filled with contempt. Yes, contempt. Even then, God did not leave my side.