Lying on my yoga mat with lights dimmed a sense of solitude wraps around me. I hear her voice, “let go of your day, let go of your expectations” and I feel the weight the luggage I’ve been hauling all.day.long fall to the floor. It surprises me that my classmates aren’t sitting up looking my direction in frustration and concern; that the continuing echoes don’t alarm those around me.
Tears stream down the developing wrinkles in the corners of my eyes pooling on the dated green sticky mat. (Culturally, I’m reducing my carbon footprint and saving money, the honest truth is I’m too cheap and practical to buy myself a new pretty mat.)
You see, I’m the mother to that kid, the kid that is loud, wiggly; the one who is impulsive and reactive. I’m the mother to the kid that gets the report from the adults in charge when I pick him up. I get many looks and pointers from mostly well-intentioned people who don’t realize the deep ache and loneliness of his mother’s heart. Unsolicited advisers think I’m too (fill in the blank) with my son. The process is redemptive for my soul, completely humbling because my inadequacy is blaring. Sticking to my guns, maybe to a fault, I fight for my son’s future; the future he doesn’t know is ahead of him. Neither did you and I when our parents raised us, if you were fortunate to have parents who poured into your life.
When it comes to God, the world believes evil must be eradicated for goodness to prevail, as if then, then and only then God could possibly be “good”. But God’s goodness doesn’t depend on our immediate perspective, it doesn’t hinge on what we believe is good in the moment or for an era. who poured into your life.
He’s been in his room for days, stuck because he’s stuck. Haven’t we all been stuck? But we haven’t all have someone who loved us enough to stick with us through it all. Parents divorce, friends stop calling, no, not everyone can handle being around let alone helping someone who is stuck. That’s one way we weed out those who love us most; they’re still around years after we’re rescued us from a destructive habit.
Being stuck on my son is demanding. I sometimes think more than the average kid, but having friends with quiet compliant kids, I know every one of us comes with our own version of stuck that requires a parent’s constant care and prayer from many more. For the sake of his future, for his well-being, I’m willing to grind through this, just a shadow of how stuck God is on you and me.
Parents have to make difficult decisions when it comes to discipline and instruction. We have to determine what’s appropriate for the situation and what we believe will steer a child’s heart towards what is healthy and beneficial for his future. When we discipline, we do so because we love our child, we want them to thrive, blossom and grow into all the possibilities they can be. God is no different, though we curse Him when He takes action.
The world complains He cannot be good when there is suffering. We raise a fist when the water runs dry (literally happening in my home state of California), when there’s too much water (the other half of my country), when the economy crashes and leaders use their power to crush those beneath them. Everything that goes wrong is considered an error or slight on God’s part. When it comes to God, the world believes evil must be eradicated for goodness to prevail, as if then, then and only then God could possibly be “good”. But God’s goodness doesn’t depend on our immediate perspective, it doesn’t hinge on what we believe is good in the moment or for an era. As we’re stuck, pointing fingers and complaining, God loves and cares for us. He has a perfect plan in place. Jesus already did His part to forever redeem our souls and before we know it, He will conquer evil once and for all.
“Good parents” still earn that status by being involved in the lives of their children, by leveraging their power and position to influence their children towards what is right and good. Yet when God the Father takes such action, we scorn Him, no different than a child of any age. We must remember that our current status and circumstances don’t prove or disprove God’s goodness.
God is good all the time; all the time God is good.