Though I feel like a simple girl stumbling over her words I was recently welcomed into Redbud Writer’s Guild. Quickly, the honor of being among amazingly talented and passionate women left me feeling misplaced. Like a city girl caught on a farm, the little I knew felt insignificant. Insecurity was growing rampantly.
Maybe you’ve found yourself in a similar position, pursuing what you love, what you need to do or have been called to do, suddenly brushing shoulders with people you highly respect, people you have admired, people who have cheered your invisible presence along without knowing it.
Despite finding the community, encouragement and direction I was craving, my voice felt small, insignificant. I felt thwarted. Defeated. Already I had shelved writing, “it’s too painful and someone is already saying it better”…maybe you feel that way at work. Someone is already bolstering and leading the staff as well as you dreamed, what could you possibly offer? Maybe it’s among friends, that moment you remain silent because you don’t have confidence that what you will say is worthwhile.
Regardless, we can quickly find ourselves backing off, snuffing the inner nudge to take action. Much more stifling and it will be inaudible.
While hiding myself in the familiar closet, reminding myself plenty of other capable writers are hard at work, as God would have it, He drew me back, just as He can do for you.
The voice that usually greets me when I open my bible had been a distant echo nevertheless, I diligently picked up my bible so dull and quiet in previous days. Trudging through Matthew further (a task for this Old Testament lover) slowly I sobered as I absorbed the parable of the talents (Matthew 25: 14-29).
Nutshelling the parable, the master leaves entrusting five, two and one talent (currency) to three different servants. The first two servants invest the talent reaping dividends, earning the master’s trust and gaining more in every way. The final servant, entrusted with one meager talent, buried it out of fear gaining nothing more and was cast out for misusing the funds. He lost everything.
I stepped back.
Which servant am I?
Which are you?
The very meaning of the word entrusted means we are to protect and be responsible with what we’ve been given. We aren’t all called to be superstars but we are called to be faithful, careful with what we have been entrusted with. Apathy and complacency are not an option.
Reading the work of my peers now leaves a sense of reverence at the voice God has given each of them. Each woman has been called to write, some to encourage and affirm, some to shake the world’s eyes to injustices and unmet needs of invisible hurting hearts, some to impart wisdom and others to get us to think outside the box.
These voices are my peers, my friends. Women I admire, who excel with the talents God has blessed them with and I have the privilege of being encouraged by their work. Whether I am called to write a book, article for a magazine or post on a blog, I will strive to be a servant faithful with the talents that God is growing in me.
Get it? Growing in me? Just as the master gave more to the faithful servants, God will give us more as we are faithful.
During an orienteering class, the instructor told my kids and I, “When you find yourself lost, go back to the place where you know you are found.” When those feelings of doubt begin to cloud perspective, when insecurity floods the soul we need to go back to where we are found.
For me, I can quickly find my writing voice when I recall that though I love the craft, it’s also where I am called to be. That is what I have been entrusted with, what I am to protect and be faithful with. It’s no different for you. You have an ability that God has given you, something beyond your family role. Are you doing your part?
Heart Check: We choose daily which servant we will be with what God has entrusted us with. Will you bury your talent out of fear and find yourself empty-handed or will you trust that God can use the gifts He blessed you with for a greater purpose? Who will you choose to be?
….and yes, I’ve busted my 350 words….that makes up for not posting Tuesday? 🙂