There are some people who know matte what you’re talking about, the conversation always spins back to them. Boomerang effect. If I’m honest, that’s me. Somehow, someway I have something to say about most everything. Is this deep seeded selfishness? Is this the result of a hyper-engaged and overly controlling personality?
Yes and no.
Western culture is so driven by “not forcing ones ideas on others” that points of view are often validated by the, “for me….” phrase that allows a brief “non-judgmental” outlet for our opinions. This gives a false sense that opinions aren’t being shoved down someone’s throat, because, well, that’s “for him, not me”. Quite sad to consider how much wisdom is being missed because the packaging and delivery of a conversation must be structured in such a sensitive way.
I actually have a family member that I wish I could talk to, but am so paranoid about offending (because I have), that the only ‘safe’ topic I have is myself! This concept extends to others: I don’t want to make others uncomfortable or offend them; I want them to feel safe in this conversation. Therefore, I’ll be vulnerable to build trust. (I’ll pick this apart in another post)
So then, “for me”, I am considering dropping the phrase, asking people questions that may make them uncomfortable (after all, people can decline an answer) and simplifying my conversational life.
Heart Check: Who are you in a conversation? Are you too easily and quickly “offended” in conversation? Are you walking on eggshells? What will you do differently?