For one, freedom comes through GIVING forgiveness while for the other, it is through ASKING…What stops us?
There have been times where I’ve been too self-absorbed to even notice the wound I’ve caused. I’ve also managed to down-play the victim’s pain (“just a flesh wound”). Most often though, it’s been my PRIDE that has kept me from owning-up to my messes. Oh dear, pride is a beast!
Perhaps you can relate, I can tell myself that the person “won’t even remember” but forgiveness is not totally about the other person. It’s about personal healing as well; being free from something weighing me down because it was wrong. There’s also a hidden beauty in knowing that a closure is being offered to the other person.
Sometimes this takes time….a lot of it…a decade separates me from a divorce. After all these years, I’ve FINALLY owned my contribution of an all-to-common tragic marriage. One close friend actually smirked at me, “What do YOU have to ask forgiveness for?!” The reality is, just because our hurtful actions aren’t a blaring neon sign, doesn’t mean they’re acceptable or less hurtful. There isn’t a quota needed to ask forgiveness.
What’s funny is that we suggest to children to respond to their infractions great and small. Shouldn’t we, as adults, practice what we preach?
Heart Check: What’s holding you back from what your heart is leading you to? Self-absorption? Pride? Minimizing others? Lapse of time? What will you do about it TODAY?