The stages in life roll like the cycle of a moon. There have been periods of my life that have been flooded with struggle, pain, and despair; I’m certain right now many can relate with that cycle of life. I’ve found it all too easy to want to crawl into a hole and “hide” from the world; more precisely, to hide from those who know me best or are suppose to know me best- you’ll know we’ve worn similar shoes if you understand that final phrase. Part of the dark side of life is realizing that people you believed you COULD count on, people you thought had mutually invested in the relationship, bail out like the captain on the Concordia.
Though I haven’t done so, I can understand how people turn to the obvious vices of alcohol and drugs, because when you’re in the middle of not the worst moment or day but YEAR or Y.E.A.R.S. of your life as you know it, being able to have some type of break, ANY TYPE OF BREAK, is precisely that: a break. There’s a point I’ve come to in these times in life where I completely lose focus and think my life forecast is dark and gloomy with a certain possibility of sleet.
I’ve been on the dark side twice, candidly, I’m in the midst of a dark cycle now. Yet, there’s something different…A dear friend challenged me with the concept of actually genuinely, completely trusting God. I thought that I had faith, that I fully trusted God, but through this struggle, I’ve realized that I ultimately still believed that I had control. Being ACUTELY aware that I have NO CONTROL has made me feel vulnerable; naked….tbc…
Heart Check: What do you put your faith in while in a dark cycle?