The past four and a half years have torn me in two and then again. I don’t know if it’s just life itself that takes everyone through this process of making taking a solid person and making her disintegrate into particles fine as sand or if it’s just me. The optimistic side of me thinks that with so many psychologists and self-help books available, it’s not just me; I could be wrong.
There are M-A-N-Y things I’ve learned “the hard way” the past few decades, but of late, I’m genuinely focusing on speaking for myself. I was noticing in my conversations that I was referring to other people and in my mind, I assumed that there was a common page everyone was on. Insert cliché about assuming here.
More than likely this went terribly wrong more often than I am aware of and I was oblivious to it, but one evening, while sorting a sticky situation out with some other ladies, I lost a friend while speaking for “us”. In actuality, we had previously spoken and were on the same page, but I spoke for her and clearly crossed a line. I was terribly insecure and spoke collectively because I thought that people would listen to me . I found a false sense of comfort from “strength in numbers”. Let’s be real, this can be a bully tactic to get things done as you wish. It also denies that what one has to say, particularly among friends, IS of value.
Since that instance, I have strived to SPEAK FOR MYSELF. You will notice this in my posts. I’m not trying to be completely self-absorbed by referring to myself, rather, I’m trying to avoid assuming that the rest of the world shares my views and opinions (which, most probably don’t). Now you know part of the “why” behind this element of my posts.
Give it a shot. Be self-aware and you may be surprised about your speech habits and what they reveal about your inner self. Take a moment and let me know what you find!